With offices from Pyongyang to Panama, and fuelled by our own entirely deregulated brewery, ‘Legitimate’ is a byword for business success. Whether it’s a minor political coup, corporate tax advice, or a pet panda for the kids…let’s do Legitimate business.
Sitting there like the fat cat who got the double cream. This smirking, crisp, German-style lager is chortling all the way to the offshore bank.Discover
Identity Theft’s been snooping around. This American Pale knows you better than your nearest and dearest.Discover
This snake in the grass of a Session IPA’s had it rigged from the start. You’ll be stuck for another term yet.
Sit back home in the rain, add up the damage and take solace in this summer smasher. It’s all you got you putz.Discover
This old traditionalist is just plain bitter. I hope you have insurance buster, ‘cause this sweet and fruity old-timer’s here for his pension.Discover
This hard-hitting, rich and decadent little number has been ageing in Kentucky bourbon barrels so long he has no idea whose side he's on.Discover
An entirely above-board botanical India Pale Ale, with all the necessary paperwork.Discover
Straight through security without breaking a sweat, this IPA is ready to deliver the goods.Discover
You took the money and squandered it. Now you're stuck repaying this smooth, silky stout and it's a bitter-sweet finish.Discover
Where’s my wife?
I hand-picked my spouse from your catalogue seven months ago, but haven't even had the faintest sniff of a lifelong, meaningful relationship. Where is Olga? You have until Wednesday or I am going to the papers.
He’s the cutest!!!
My wife always wanted a Snow leopard, I said "No honey they’re endangered". No boom boom for me, bad times. So along comes Legitimate – five large and look what we have! They even took the claws and teeth out!! He’s our adorable little gummy bear.
Where’s my wife? - *updated*
Please disregard my previous review, this is an exceptional company and I was ill-advised to spread unfounded slander. I am a bad person, a fraud and a natural born liar. Sorry all.
Banks a million!
As a merchant banker, I’ve always been a shy and low-key kind of guy, but Tax Evasion Pils has really helped me to come out of my shell. It’s so easy and so very rewarding. Thanks Legitimate Industries for showing me the light – I’m off to test drive a f*cking Veyron!!
King of the world!
I fancied a career change, so Legitimate helped me to topple a government in a small South American enclave. Last week I had a meeting at the World Bank and a certain pop star sang at my kid's birthday party - it was epic. Look at me now Dad you b*stard!
Unbeatable business finance
I borrowed $2m to expand my business, although I did not expect cash in used £10 notes, the funds were delivered promptly. Though LIW is now the major shareholder in our family firm, I have been encouraged to recommend my experience to others.
Identity Theft worked for me
I stumbled across this malty American Pale in Red’s True Barbecue and it changed my life. The juicy, tropical fruit blend of Apollo, Bravo, Cascade, Chinook and Eureka hops made my day! I'll be back.
When a U.S. beverage manufacturer fell marginally behind on their financial commitments, we stripped their assets faster than you can say "Read the terms and conditions, moron". Their loss, your gain!
We’ve been brewing outstanding beers ever since. Fact.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Meet a few of the inspirational, entrepre-guru thought leaders who have helped us to reach the summit of Mount Success and stay there.